Congress Wants To Know If They’ve Molested You

Hammer of Truth
Oct. 08, 2006

Being the responsible public servant that he is, House Speaker Dennis Hastert has conveniently setup a Tip line for those of us that have been molested by Congress:

We’ve asked the Ethics Committee to look into this matter and we asked for criminal investigations to be opened by the Justice Department, the FBI and the State of Florida. We have a toll-free number where people can confidently call and we’ve reached out to experts around the country to put a system in place to make sure this never happens again.

The Tip number is: 1-866-384-0481.

Congress is finally going to take action against itself for the thousands upon thousands of laws it has created to molest us with? This is too good to be true!

The kicker: the number routes to a modem. I am not kidding, I just dialed it. If I wasn’t so accustomed to members of Congress lying to people, this would be a complete shock to me. However it appears to be business as usual.

I guess I will have to “confidently” fax them my grievances.

UPDATE: Michael Hampton pointed out that the correct number is 1-866-348-0481. Let the dialing begin.