The TSA: Bringing 'Common Sense' and 'Intelligence' to Slavery

by Becky Akers
Aug. 17, 2011

Terms so antithetical one never expects to encounter them in the same article -- "common sense," "intelligence" and "Transportation Security Administration (TSA)" – have been popping up together in the corporate media the last few weeks. Its propagandists praise the TSA’s chief pervert, John Pistole, for "introduc[ing] just the slightest bit of intelligence and flexibility into his agency's system."

Several scams at the TSA inspired this allegation. First, the bureaucracy is once again experimenting with a "Trusted Traveler Program." Yep, I laugh every time I type it, too. What we need is a "Trusted Tyrant Program" given that the sociopaths in office have bankrupted the country, beggared homeowners with imprudent mortgages, invaded much of the world, and bombed those countries refusing to thank them for it. Yet idiots nationwide fear passengers, not politicians.

At any rate, the TSA has resurrected an idea it killed a few years ago when its "private-sector [yeah, right] partner" would have split the profits with it: if passengers will divulge even more information than unconstitutional laws already require to an agency in the habit of losing hard drives bursting with just such data, why, they can go to the head of the checkpoint’s line for – yes! – faster molestation. And guess what? Your expedited assault will cost you another $150 on top of the taxes and fees you already pay to finance the TSA’s annual budget of $8.2 billion. No matter: "some [trusted] travelers may keep their shoes on; others may not have to remove their laptops from their cases." Ah, the land of the free: you and your computer will henceforth be shod while government goons gate-rape you.

Along with this goes the TSA’s "Trusted Pilot Program," which it calls "Known Crewmember" – I suppose because "Trusted Pilot" is too absurd even for the TSA. Here are guys controlling jets, but we aren’t gonna trust ‘em unless an agency that can’t differentiate debauchery from security tells us they’re OK? Geez.

"Known Crewmember" forces pilots to show their credentials to the TSA’s nitwits – the ones who can’t keep passengers with other people’s boarding passes off planes. Yet so long as illiterate LaWanda ("Whaz dis here mean, ‘valu-vala-vadilated?") scrutinizes their documents, pilots can skip the agency’s unconstitutional and demeaning searches.

The TSA has no business pawing pilots or anyone else. But of course, the corporate media never questions, let alone condemns, this abuse of taxpayers. Rather, it applauds the agency’s replacing physical attack with the equally totalitarian "Papers, please" because the latter means shorter lines at checkpoints. It’s all about convenience in the Amerikan Empire.

The TSA has also begun "dial[ing] back" its porno-scanners with "a new algorithm that shows potential bombs without displaying a passenger's naughty bits." You’ll recall that the TSA has always and adamantly denied that its carcinogenic gizmos reveal any "naughty bits," so how it can "dial back" its non-existent voyeurism remains a mystery. Naturally, the agency’s lackeys in the corporate media don’t raise this uncomfortable contradiction as the Chief Pervert rhapsodizes about protecting our privacy while stripping us naked. Instead, they laud his "common sense."

Nor do they point out that the Chief Pervert "introduc[ing]" the "new algorithm" is precisely the one who ordered the nationwide gropefest that has children screaming at pedophiles on youtube and pilots throwing up in their driveways. The Perv ought to be horsewhipped and then tried for crimes against humanity, yet the media implies that he is somehow saving us from the very atrocities he decreed: "When Mr. Pistole took over the TSA in July 2010 … [g]rannies got accosted on the off-chance they were al Qaeda sleeper agents." Did I miss something? Don’t they still? "Until November, even pilots had to go through those bomb-spotting [sic] body scanners … None of this jived with Mr. Pistole's 26 years with the FBI…"

Here we go again with the Pervert’s resume; if I had a nickel for every time the media has touted those 26 years, I could buy New York City’s mayoralty as did its current owner – not that I’d want to...

But I interrupted our propagandist: "… Nor did the TSA's unthinking approach take into account a decade's worth of improvements in tracking potential terrorists. A series of new databases now means that we have a much better sense of who is flying when. ‘We have an opportunity to change,’ Mr. Pistole said … ‘to try to apply some more common sense to the process.’"

Breathtaking, isn’t it? You might hope that an editor would castigate, not collaborate with, a writer and a source this deceptive. God knows, any article against the TSA that relied on such mendacity would never see publication in the mainstream. Actually, any article against the TSA rarely sees publication in the mainstream.

Chains are chains. A master may pad them so they chafe less, but the poor wretches they shackle are still slaves. Passengers aren’t free because they’re wearing shoes and the line moves faster while Leviathan assaults them.
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Becky Akers [send her mail] writes primarily about the American Revolution.

Copyright © 2011 by LewRockwell.com