TSA Assures Parents Not to Worry

by Thomas DiLorenzo
Nov. 15, 2010

Matt Lauer interviewed the head of the TSA this morning and asked him if it isn’t grotesque for his employees to be groping and fondling children whose parents refuse to let them go through the porno-trons. The head of the porno-tron Gestapo wore a sh_ _ -eating grin, and assured Matt that children twelve and under would not be groped and fondled.

Whew. What a sigh of relief for parents of younger children. However, your 13-year-old daughter will be forced to stand still while some rubber gloves-wearing Nazi squeezes and fondles her breasts and squeezes her butt cheeks and jabs at her crotch in public in front of hundreds of people.

Matt Lauer also quoted porno-tron Nazis as saying that they intend to adopt some of the policies that have been used in the enormously successful war on drugs. Last year while traveling through the Fort Lauderdale airport a woman was stopped by security and arrested after a very thorough search revealed that she was smuggling drugs hidden in a condom in her rectum. If a terrorist can smuggle a bomb in his underwear . . . . .

Coming soon to an airport near you.