Trouble in Bohemian Grove Paradise
It’s high summer and little boys everywhere are planning to take over the world from treetop forts. Little Johnny’s home from school swing easily into Long John Silver mode on dreamy summer afternoons.
That’s California dreamin’ for the lovable Kool-Aid set.
In Monte Rio, California, toupee-wearing, cigar chomping little boys grown tall are beginning to arrive for this year’s secret Bohemian Club male-bonding session, where a today-the-pond-tomorrow-the-world agenda gets underway.
Long known as the “Bohos”, club members who tantalize mainstream media by banning its attendance cavort about in the buff and come down to earth by paying ritual homage to an owl they call, “Moloch”.
The Bohemian Grove is the site of a two-week retreat every July and smaller get-togethers take place throughout the year.
Avoiding serious media exposes for 135 years, in generations past the Bohemian Club lured the likes of William Randolph Hearst Jr. from the spooky privacy of San Simeon—without Marion Davies, of course.
Like nine-years-olds who ban little girls from climbing into their tree houses, Bohemian clubbers ban women from their secluded campground in California’s Sonoma County. The nine years olds are just going through an “ugh girls!” phase, Bohemian Club members are locked in geriatric male mode.
Every other July they’ve had little trouble keeping pesky reporters out. The few who gained access had their exposes spiked by Boho protecting editors. Think of the missed photo ops with global custodians cavorting about in the buff, donning red hoods only when it’s time to pay homage to the mysterious Moloch.
But his year Bohos have problems far more pressing than easy to control media types. It is coming at them in the form of a very public battle royale with environmentalists, who are determined to block their plan to log the surrounding riverside forest.
It seems that the club wants a special logging permit to cut more than 1 million board feet per year in perpetuity in the Bohemian Grove on Sonoma County’ Russian River—the closest unprotected redwood forest to San Francisco, about 70 miles south.
The bounty would build 70 houses a year from the old coastal redwood. Some trees are more than 300 feet tall and at 1,000 years old, are even older than club members.
For environmentalists it’s a case of paving paradise to put up a parking lot.
You’d think that with members and frequent guests like Henry Kissinger, Charles Schwab, Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld and Walter Cronkite, (whose voice is used by Moloch) there’d be no problem getting a permit, but even Bohos have to stand down to the power of the environmentalist.
Look how far up the road Al Gore traveled on global warming.
“Bohos” have written to the State Department of Forestry and Fire Protection, insisting the plan would decrease wildfire risks. Not in the least impressed, government scientists at the State Department of Fish and Game, the all-powerful Sierra Club and other institutions say the plan would degrade habitat and give the club cutting rights with inadequate oversight.
A public hearing slated for later this summer could shed new light for roving reporters who could easily name names of the legal beagles on the Boho payroll, assuming of course the judge is not another Boho.
Matt Ogero, the club’s Bohemian Grove manager, wouldn’t say how much money the club gets from timber, which is typically sold to a sawmill.
“We’re not doing it to generate income but for the health of the forest and to prevent forest fires,” Oggero said.
If all else fails, the Bohos can always call upon Moloch the owl.
It’s a bumper crop year for news from the Bohemian Club. Latter day media who keep trying to penetrate Bohemian Club activities have problems almost as challenging as the Bohos. Lamenting that the Boho membership list has included “every Republican U.S. president”, the media has thrown in the words “as well as some Democrats” almost as an afterthought.
But in the space of one year, Republicans have become as rare as proverbial hen’s teeth.
Republican George Bush, who still refuses to pardon Border Crossing Guards Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, seems to have joined the Democrats on pushing a borderless U.S.A. for the sake of Amnesty.
Too many senators who used to be trusted by patriots are now RINOS (Republicans in Name Only).
Meanwhile, there are some hoping that the mosquitoes will have a feast at this year’s Boho campout.
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