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Analysis posted Sep 17 2013, 8:31 AM Category: Tyranny/Police State Source: InformationLiberation Print

Anonymous Cop Pens Bizarre Editorial Calling for 'End of Anonymity on the Internet,' Says All Internet Posters Should be Forced to Register with the Government for 'Public Safety'

Chris | InformationLiberation

An anonymous police officer writing for Salt Lake City's penned a bizarre editorial calling for the end of anonymity on the internet. "Officer Anonymous" says everyone who wants to post comments online should be forced to register their email with the government in person at the DMV and be cataloged in a national database. The officer says this will end the problem of "trolling" and people "hiding behind the Internet."

From's "Ask a cop" column titled, "Trolling should be illegal":
SALT LAKE CITY First off, I am not talking about those silly wild haired dolls with jewels in their belly buttons. I am also not speaking about the ones that live under bridges and eat small children. I am speaking about the spineless bottom feeders who sit at their computer all day bullying other people with inflammatory comments and remarks.

A troll's sole purpose in life is to comment about an article, statement, question in a forum or other Internet venue so that comment will upset the target person or persons to the point where they are yelling at their computer and punching the monitor.
A troll thrives on a back and forth argument where one ultimately challenges the other to a fist fight or threatens to find out where the other person lives so they can settle this in person. These arguments tend to be typed in all caps lock. There are professional troll organizations where this becomes a quasi profession. Lame, I know.
So why should trolls go to jail? They are causing or inciting a riot plain and simple. The sole purpose is to upset as many people as possible through malicious or deceptive statements. They then sit back and watch the carnage. There is no benefit to anyone except themselves. The victims of these trolls are upset the rest of the day. They are driving aggressively on the roads, yelling at their co-workers and being consumed with a way to find out who that person on the Internet was.

This is not good for public safety. This is why I think the only way to combat this is to change the way we run comment boards and forums. Anyone who wants to comment or post anything needs to do this with their official email address registered by the government. This will be verified in person at your local driver's license division. No more anonymity on the Internet. Every time you post anything, your picture and name will pop up.

You trolls can still keep your precious usernames like halochamp34 and doritoskiller709, but it will be tied to your official email, the one and only email you can have. No more fictional emails and no more hiding behind the Internet. If you want to make public comments and be in the public domain of the Internet, then you should be brave enough to show your actual face.

This would also take care of many other problems on the Internet, like fraud and phishing scams or having an online relationship with a fictional person (sorry Manti Te'o). You may not see the brave statements about how you are a third-degree black belt and 6'4 230. Which is apparently the standard height, weight and skill of every person on call of duty.

How refreshing it would be to see who actually posted those racially charged comments. It would be interesting to see if they posted at all. Do you think those same people are making those same remarks in person? I don't think they are. It would take awhile for them to adjust to sunlight, or being around people. I bet it would be nice for their parents to have access to their basements again. They could finally put in that game room they always wanted.

You may be reading this, flabbergasted by my own hypocrisy. I am aware that I am writing these articles through the safety of anonymity. But if you guys are willing to come forward, then so am I. Let's break down the barriers of the Internet and come forward showing our true selves with no judgment. I can't wait to see the national email registry!
[Emphasis added]
Let's address this officer's points one by one. First off, has anyone ever seen any evidence "trolling" has ever caused any specific riot? Despite this claim being the centerpiece of his article, he gives no evidence this has ever occurred.

Second, and again without evidence, the cop says "victims" of trolling are somehow forced to "drive aggressively" and made to "yell at their co-workers," because he says they're "being consumed with a way to find out who that person on the Internet was." Again, the officer provided no evidence for this claim. Not everyone reacts the same way to being verbally harassed.

Next comes his government registration scheme which he wants done in the name of "public safety." Again the officer lays out no plan for how this would be done. How could every last persons' email be registered with the government? How will every website be forced to require email and be tapped into the same government database? How does he imagine this will be enforced, and what makes him think there will be no way around his scheme and it will single-handedly end all anonymity?

Nonetheless, Officer Anonymous completely ignores the importance of victims of trolling being able to remain anonymous, imagine if every troll on every internet forum could look you up and know exactly who you are, that in itself is a nightmare, one this cop clearly never thought of. Blizzard Entertainment tried to roll out such a scheme on their forum and dropped it like a hot potato after users revolted for those very same reasons. Imagine if on every medical forum where people talk about their private medical issues everyone was made to use their real name, how in the world would that contribute to human progress?

We have a laboratory which lacks anonymity and where everyone shows their face, it's called Facebook, and people sign up to it voluntarily rather than through force. Guess what, it's filled with trolls and even racists who don't give a damn about everyone knowing who they are. Let us go one step further, the "real world" is also filled with trolls and racists, and they don't care about being anonymous. Just because something happens "on the internet" doesn't mean it's a unique problem caused by the internet itself.

The anonymous cop ends his piece by saying he knows people may be "flabbergasted by [his] own hypocrisy" for writing his article from "the safety of anonymity," but he says "if you guys are willing to come forward, then so am I."

Indeed, I am flabbergasted by your hypocrisy. As you note, anonymity provides you with safety, a safety you want to deny others. Yet despite calling for its end, you're not even willing to lead by example. Instead, you limit your own commitment to your principles by tying them to the actions of the people you're condemning. "I'll only do what's right if people who are wrong do what is right first."

Good thing you are anonymous, because if you attached your real name to your article people would know what a complete and total hypocrite you are. No wonder you chose a job where you're exempt from the basic rules of human decency and civil society.
Chris runs the website, you can read more of his writings here. Follow infolib on twitter here.

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Comments 41 - 60 of 93 Add Comment < Page of 5 >
a lady

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 7:35 PM

75137 This is a bad idea, a waste of time, a waste of money, it would never work. Be realistic.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 7:38 PM

242 Man you guys are dumb. Its obviously satire. You probably think the onion is actual news.
Anonymous troll

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 7:38 PM

75185 fight me irl do you even lift

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 8:02 PM

17454 My feels!

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 8:22 PM

24118 Get trolled nerds.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 8:56 PM

67242 Are you gonna kiss me or not?

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 9:18 PM

142165 That is utter bullshit.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 9:23 PM

96243 lol, that will never happen.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 9:36 PM

7189 The examples he cites, such as the aggressive driving, sound pretty personal as if he or someone close has been trolled and he can't do a damn thing about it. Not giving a damn seems out of the question for some reason. Dare I say he must be an older gent?

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 9:38 PM

76169 Ya please register your fucking email so we can find you and fuck your life having a thought we don't agree with. Sounds like mr anonymous got his pubes twisted and wants to go fuck with some citizen he dosent agree with. To cry to your momma about the mean ol'internets guessing correctly that you have a small dick.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 9:40 PM

2493 Reeks of 4chan

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 9:42 PM

98232 What are you going to do about us who run or own systems and don't rely on Google or Yahoo etc?

Some of us don't even need a giant isp to reach the outside world, we have the means to do it our selfs.

Don't get cocky gov't scum...

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 9:50 PM

241 I am sincerely hoping this is fake.
If not, I've lost all faith in the good side of mankind.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 10:10 PM

1073 stupid fucking cop.....the one who you should worry about is the moron who cant control his anger because of an internet troll

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 10:20 PM

97126 dear god what a fucking simpleton

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 10:21 PM

24151 Since its admitted that NSA, cia, and everyone else is monitoring everybody's emails and has made profiles of everyone, the argument that there is anonymity on the net is a false argument.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 10:38 PM

10839 Heh. *points at username*

Brock Obama

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 10:54 PM

7699 Fucking cops

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 10:56 PM

99195 only you can decide what can piss you off.

Posted: Sep 17 2013, 10:58 PM

24148 Definitely a troll.
Comments 41 - 60 of 93 < Page of 5 >

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