informationliberation
The news you're not supposed to know...




Austrian Economics: Understand Economics, Understand the World
The Century of the Self: The Untold History of Controlling the Masses Through the Manipulation of Unconscious Desires
The Disappearing Male: From Virility to Sterility

The Obama Deception: The Mask Comes Off
Operation Gladio: The Hidden History of U.S. Sponsored False Flag Terrorism in EuropeThe New American Century: The Untold History of The Project for the New American Century
(more)
Article posted Jun 08 2012, 11:39 AM Category: Politics/Corruption Source: YouTube Print

Bath Salts, Naked Zombie Cannibals & Stupid Senators



Bath salts. They're turning people from Miami to Maryland into flesh-eating hulks and the synthetic concoctions that are sold as insect repellent and plant food have supposedly singlehandedly set off the zombie apocalypse.

New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, fresh off his victory in banning caffeinated alcoholic beverages like Four Loko, is hell-bent on banning so-called bath salts. The senator, who in the past has tried to regulate the price of Coca Krispies, Count Chocula, and other breakfast cereals, also wants to outlaw fake pot, too - because the war on real pot is going so swell.

It all started on a Florida offramp in broad daylight when a car-washing Bible-thumper snapped, allegedly under the influence of zombie dust. The story soon eclipsed the presidential election and Miley Cyrus' lack of underwear as the most important issue in the country.

There was an immediate obsession with the substance that "caused" this unnatural act.To date, there's no evidence that Sunshine State face-chewer Rudy Eugene was in fact whacked out on bath salts. The Miami Mauler had been arrested at least eight times since he was 16 and had threatened to kill his Mom on at least once violent occasion.

Here's the problem with banning "synthetic methamphtemine" - or the real thing, for that matter: There are an infinite number of ways that natural and artifical drugs can be combined, married and sewn together to get a user higher Matthew McConaughey on any given Monday. Science will always be one step ahead of the legislative process, so as quickly as a chemical compound is banned, four more will spring forth from crafty laboratories eager to pacify those seeking a quick fix.

But...but...but...bath salts make you a zombie cannibal, don't they? You can hear the Sen. Schumers of the world ask that question. But hardly The other two cannibalism stories in the news don't involve bath salts or naked zombies. The Canadian porn star who hacked up his friend, ate his bits, then sent appendages on a tour of the Canadian Postal Service is more gruesome than Celine Dion's entire discography, but the guy was clothed and sober. The kid in Maryland who ate the heart and brain of his Ghanian roommate was also not on the salts, and he too was clothed.

So instead of banning bath salts, how about enforcing the existing ban on zombie cannibalism? And if we can't do that, can we at least ban opportunistic, incompetent legislators?

Oh, Calgon, take me away!

Produced by Meredith Bragg. Written by Nick Gillespie and Kennedy, who narrates.

Follow Reason (@reason), Gillespie (@nickgillespie), and Kennedy (@kennedynation) on Twitter.

About 2.30 minutes. Visit http://www.reason.tv for downloadable versions and subscribe to Reason.tv's YouTube Channel to receive automatic updates when new material goes live.





Latest Politics/Corruption
- Rand Paul Was Against The Drug War Before He Was For It
- 'Bloggers' Compared to ISIS During Congressional Hearing
- Paper: Clinton Iowa Stop Staged; Campaign Drove 'Ordinary' Voters For Photo-Op
- Georgia Educators Get Prison Terms for Roles in 'Data-Driven' Cheating Scandal
- Chris Christie: 'I Will Crack Down And Not Permit' Legal Marijuana As President
- Former Security Director For Lottery Charged With Tampering Equipment Before Secretly Buying $14.3 Million Winning Ticket
- DEA Sex Party Allegations Date Back To 2001
- To the Bitter End: The 9 States Where Marijuana Will Be Legalized Last









No Comments Posted Add Comment


Add Comment
Name
Comment

* No HTML


Verification *
Please Enter the Verification Code Seen Below
 


PLEASE NOTE
Please see our About Page, our Disclaimer, and our Comments Policy.


FAIR USE NOTICE
This site contains copyrighted material the use of which in some cases has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Such material is made available for the purposes of news reporting, education, research, comment, and criticism, which constitutes a 'fair use' of such copyrighted material in accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. It is our policy to respond to notices of alleged infringement that comply with the DMCA and other applicable intellectual property laws. It is our policy to remove material from public view that we believe in good faith to be copyrighted material that has been illegally copied and distributed by any of our members or users.

About Us - Disclaimer - Privacy Policy



Advanced Search
Username:

Password:

Remember Me
Forgot Password?
Register

Documents: National Guard Ordered To Consider Americans As 'Enemy Forces' And 'Adversaries' - 04/17Video: Armed National Guard Troops Patrol Residential Streets in California - 04/17Video: Citizen Pulls Cop Over For Reckless Driving! - 04/17Massachussetts Cop Admits that Police Don't Really Care About Public Safety - 04/17Police Detective Arrested In Scheme To Steal Cocaine From Evidence - 04/17Want to Record The Cops? Know Your Rights - 04/17Cops Raid Cannabis Oil Activist Because Her Son Discussed Medical Pot Facts at School - 04/14Oath Keepers Muster in Oregon to Prevent 139-Year-Old Gold Mines from Being Seized by BLM - 04/17

Man Follows Speeding Cop, Finds Out He Was Speeding To Buy PeanutsMission Creeps: Homeland Security Agents Confiscate Women's Panties For 'Copyright Infringement'Cop Shoots Couple's Dog, Threatens Jail For Trying To Save Dog's LifeSWAT Team Shoots Teen Girl & Her Dog During Pot Raid On Wrong HomeDurham, NC Cop Testifies Faking 911 Calls To Enter Homes Is "Official Policy"Indiana Sheriff Says US A "War Zone" To Justify New MRAP Military VehicleTampa Cops Surveil Pot Dealer, Catch Him Selling Pot, Raid His Home & Kill Him"You Just Shot An Unarmed Man!": Witness Says Police Shot His Friend With His Hands Up
(more)

 
Top